MVC2 Is Coming To XBLA!

Say what now? Nerds would know (inherently) that the above title reads Marvel Vs. Capcom 2 is coming to Xbox Live Arcade! This is MEGA news! The original arcade game, circa 2000, has certainly withstood the test of time. Nearly a decade later it remains to be one of the best fighting games ever made. The home console versions (Dreamcast, PS2, Xbox) are highly sought after due to a limited print (Capcom was loosing the Marvel license) and will run anywhere from $40-75 on ebay! The steep price tag has always been a factor in my never owning the game. That's not to say the game isn't worth the money, I assure you it is, but the Xbox and PS2 versions were...lacking. Elements were added that weren't needed or desired and the gameplay handles differently; a bit slow, clunky. The Dreamcast version, however, is the identical twin of the arcade birth mother due to the use of the NAOMI system (for coding), which the Xbox and PS2 weren't compatible with. That's the trouble with ports, things will often get lost in translation. So when news broke that the original version was coming to Xbox Live for a mere $15 (1,200 MSP), I swallowed my tongue, coughed it back up, then sang praises toward the heavens.

Why is this game so great? What's the hubbub, bub? Well, it's Marvel dudes, um, and Capcom dudes...and they totally fight each other! With a roster of 50+ playable characters, and some of those being Wolverine, Spider-Man, Iron Man, Ryu, Chun Li, and Megaman...I'd buy it if it were only those six. But I can almost guarantee your favorite Marvel character is represented. But what really sets this aside from most in the genre is the 3 on 3 battles.

Player: With so many awesome characters available, it's hard to decide which one to play.

Developer: You can have three at a time!

Player: Insanity! (Head Explodes)

It plays like any standard fighting game only your off screen pals can aid you during battle or simply "tag out" and take over as one of them. You're only defeated if all three of your characters health meters are drained. Each character has their own set of moves and combos plus group moves that include your whole team.


Here, poor Ryu is getting a makeover from a trio of badasses using said group move. He didn't stand a chance.

Update: A tentative release date of June 29. I'm counting the seconds.

Want.

I don't know if you are like me (you are probably not like me), but if you are--in the sense that the school year is almost over and you are knee-deep in shit FINAL EXAMS--I'm hoping this will cheer you up.

Even if your depression is not Finals related...well, GET OVER IT anyways. Why? Because of this:




Also, I realize I have filed this post under "Puppies and Kitties," and a slow loris is neither a puppy nor a kitty, so I offer this bonus:

From The Daily Puppy:

"This little duchess is a six-week-old Samoyed. Her name is Luna and she is a furry and cute little puppy who likes to chew on everything. She loves living with us and we love living with her. She has brought unbelievable happiness and joy to our lives."







You are welcome.

For Love & Street Fighter: Episode 2

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I remember leaving X-Men: The Last Stand in a flurry of emotions. Rage. Sadness. Betrayal. More rage. I left X-Men Origins: Wolverine feeling...nothing. Void of anything that could even remotely be mistaken for giving a shit. The title is redonkulous, the trailer was terrible, yet, you hold on to that little sliver of hope that maybe it will at least be fun. I think I may have had more fun in The Mummy. The fucking Mummy! To say X-Men Origins: Wolverine (you have to say the whole thing because its so stupid!) is a bad movie doesn't really cover all of the bases. I wont go into too much detail, because I'm still recovering, but this movie falls into the category of unnecessary. It brings nothing to the titular character that wasn't already established in X2. In fact, most of the scenes involving the "weapon x" project already had a counterpart scene in X2. Granted, most are via flashbacks, but wasn't that sufficient? Do I really need to see fifteen minutes of Wolverine being pumped full of adamantium? Wouldn't those fifteen minutes be better suited for, I don't know, cutting shit? Or trying to develop a character? Any one of them! I don't even care who! It's funny that Wolverine's name is in the title considering how little presence he actually has in the film. Sure he's in every frame, but every piece of him (or any character for that matter) is so basic. Everything goes from point A to point B, but we don't care about getting to point B, nor do we enjoy the sights along the way. It's like having to drive 30 miles into the desert to get to the dentist - a tedious chore with nothing to look at and is likely to result in pain followed by numbness.

Like X3, this film suffers from having too many characters that you couldn't possibly care about. Not only that, but you may even hate most of them. You may even hate characters you love! Gambit and Cyclops...what were they even doing in this movie? But the biggest bummer, and something I'm curious to see how it'll be received, is the treatment of the character Deadpool. Ryan Reynolds, for like two whole minutes, had me into his character. But then he's MIA and doesn't come back until the end of the movie, and when he does, he isn't Deadpool. I think someone in costume design confused Deadpool with Baraka from Mortal Kombat. Maybe it was an honest mistake?


I think I've said all that I can because frankly, I don't want to spend any more time thinking about how royally they botched a movie that should have been able to write itself. The best course of action would have been to word-for-word plagiarize Daniel Way's run of Wolverine Origins, which uses Deadpool so well that it's likely the reason he gained the popularity to make it into the film. If you want to dig your claws into some Wolverine how he is meant to be, start there.

The "Everyday" Quote of the Day - Now For Everyday Use!

"Stay focused. Find a pen."

For use in situations involving:

• Manipulative bitches feeding you false information, DELIBERATELY TAKING ADVANTAGE of your unique memory ailment that inconveniently (or, for the sake of the plot, conveniently) forces a periodic re-boot of your brain (see: Memento)
  
• The existential malaise that comes from a constant awareness that everyday details--the small things that only grab your attention for an instant, then are gone--will be forgotten and lost from your memory FOREVER if you don't write them down or make a significant effort to please please please remember them (see: titles of rarely-heard songs, or wonderful, beautiful, not-often-used words that really ought to be used more, or fleeting images or anecdotes that would be perfect to share with an absent friend, etc. etc.)
  

Go to the 8:05 mark for a lesson in the "everyday" application of this handy quote!

Glee(eeeeeee)!

I can't be the only one who gets a gonzo* from the previews for Fox's new hour-long series, Glee, can I?

Seriously, I've watched the online trailers, like, dozens of times.

I know it's just a Fox-ified (or, Nip/Tucked, courtesy of creator Ryan Murphy) version of High School Musical. I know that! But the musical numbers look SLAMMIN'. "Don't Stop Believin'"? I WON'T!

*gonzo = boner

G.I. Joe Resolute

Warren Ellis is easily one of my favorite people in existence, so there may be bias in saying GI Joe Resolute is the cat's pajamas. It's well animated, well written, decently acted, violent as hell, and pretty much everything I've always dreamed GI Joe could/should be. The episodes run anywhere from 4-6 minutes, so watch them at you leisure, but watch them you must.

Girls: Check out the trailer. If you think you can hang, head over to [adultswim] and watch the 10 episode series now.

Guys: Check out the trailer. If you didn't pee, even just a little, see the above instructions FOR GIRLS. Because that's what you are.

Sexy Poets Quiz

Because who doesn't like sexy poetry? Certainly not you.

From the Best American Poetry blog:


Match the poet with the quote from his or her poem:

1. "I groped for him before I knew"

2. "you slip/ half-a-foot deep into someone you like"

3. "new memory like a seltzer in my crotch"

4. "he kissed her Anne Sexton/ and she returned the favor, caressing his Ted Berrigan"

5. "that slippery ingress ... its complicated fragrance"

6. "Gently, with my lips/ loosen the button./ Have them slip into my hands/ Like two freshly poured beer mugs"

7. "she wanted him hung up on her breasts, not on her feet"

8. "The clam shell opens./ The oyster is eaten."

9. "At each beat of his heart it threw/ An odd little nod my way. From the slot of the spout/ Extended a drop of transparent viscous goo"

10. "nude ghosts seeking each other out in the silence"


Charles Simic

Marge Piercy

Albert Goldbarth

Emily Dickinson

David Lehman

Allen Ginsberg

Elizabeth Alexander

Michael Ryan

Jim Cummins

W. H. Auden



...Um, is the first one Emily Dickinson? I clearly don't know anything about poetry. Philistine.
Also: "beer mugs," heh.

200 million failures members

I know you know that Facebook just crossed the milestone of 200 million "active" members. And, as they instructionally (gloating-ly?) convey in their press release-type video, we could all use a little perspective on that number. For example, Facebook says that "It took 20,000 years for the world population to get to 200 million" and that "It would take 46.5 years for 200 million babies to be born in the U.S." Also, they tell me that if Facebook were a country, a population of 200 million would make it the 5th largest, "bigger than Brazil, Japan, and Russia."

And according to EW's PopWatch, "If Facebook users created a Facebook language, it would be roughly the sixth most-spoken language on Earth. If Facebook were a religion, it would be one of the 10 most-widely practiced." As an "active" Facebook member myself, I say, Welcome to Facebooktonia. Sprechen Sie news feed? Amen!

These are intriguing figures, natch. But then this report came out today, from (The) Ohio State University, saying that college students who are also Facebook members "spend less time studying and have lower grade point averages" than those students who are not members. (Probably because they spend more time using Virtual Bookshelves than...real ones. Or whatever. Haha. I'm funny.) Also, the study claims that most Facebook users don't think it hinders their study time, even when the information suggests otherwise.

Speaking as someone who is not studying (but should be) and is currently--right now!--logged on to Facebook (but shouldn't be?), I say...well DUH, Facebook interferes with studying. Facebook is better than studying. Who would rather be reading a textbook about Statistics (or whatever "college" makes you do nowadays) than adding virtual flair to their virtual flair collection or coming up with (cute) ironies and/or witticisms to scribble down irreverently below someone else's self-consciously ironic/witty photos? No one, that's who.

Now resume taking that Facebook quiz which tells you which tortilla you are, flour or corn. I'm flour.


...
(If you're anything like Dask and I, or even Dask's girlfriend, you might be wondering what the four countries are that have a population greater than 200 million. You should know them, but I'll tell you anyway. Currently: 1) China, 2) India, 3) United States (bronze!), and, the one that stumped us... 4) Indonesia.)

My Trip To Adventureland

A good comedy is hard to find. They're usually too stupid, too gross, or both. Sometimes they're SO stupid you can't help but love them, but I long for a different breed of comedy. One that worries more about being a good movie and less about how many jokes they can squeeze into a given scene. I can't think of the last genuine comedy (outside of Wes Anderson) that didn't let "being a comedy" get in the way of being a good movie. Adventureland is one for that list.

I knew I'd be seeing Adventureland from the moment the trailer hit and I laid eyes on Bill Hader's epic mustache. I didn't like director Greg Mottola's previous film, Superbad, and was a little worried that Adventureland would be Superbad...but with rides! I was relieved to find a deeper, more sincere story waiting for me.

James (Jesse Eisenberg) has just finished college and is planning on grad school in New York. His plans fall through, however, when his dad looses his position at work and ends up taking a substantial wage cut. The family moves to Pittsburgh and James is reduced to finding a summer job. It seems like his only option is Adventureland, an amusement park well past its prime. He makes friends out of circumstance (just like in any work environment) and they spend most of their time getting high or drinking beer. Most of their day to day interactions are pretty mundane and everyone thrives on the next bit of gossip just to keep their sanity. James falls for a fellow "games" operator, Emily (Kristen Stewart), who seems to like James, but has her own unresolved baggage.

Let's stop for a second.

Everything I've described to you is as basic as a movie can get. There's nothing unique, no shtick. Adventureland takes all of the boy meets girl and coming of age stereotypes and makes them work with rich characters and situations that you actually care about. You can look at the nerdy, unappreciated Joel (Martin Star) and feel like you know him, or at least know someone like him. Or maybe, you are Joel. Every character feels this way, even the ones that are there mainly for laughs, like Bill Hader's mustache. But they never feel forced. No one feels out of place even though EVERYONE is out of place, because that's where twenty-somethings spend most of their time. I don't want to say much about the movie because there isn't much to say other than I liked it and I hope you see it and you like it too. I'm tired of movies that feel restricted to their genre. This is a comedy, this is a drama...can't it just be a movie. I just want more good, real movies that can draw out real emotion. Like this one.

Did I laugh out loud and slap my knee? Not once. But what's more important, those few big laughs you get because Oh, that Will Ferrell is just so darn silly, or something that, maybe only once or twice, really made you smile. What a great feeling.