Remember when Tom Cruise & Penélope Cruz were a thing?

Oh yeah. That happened.

But just because it really happened doesn't mean it makes any logical sense. It's like thinking about the Holocaust--I mean, you know it happened (unless you're one of those Holocaust deniers, but I don't think you are), even though it's nearly impossible to rationally conceptualize. Did I just compare the pairing of Cruise/Cruz to the single most devastating event of the 20th Century? Yes.

I mean, why on earth would this honest-to-God Spanish goddess ("it's French for goddess") and future Oscar® winner canoodle with that Oprah®-freak-outter? Look at Oprah®’s face!

(A Google search for Tom Cruise+crazy yields 1.75 million results, while Oprah+crazy turns up over 3 million. It's all relative.)

The world sure was a different place back in 2000-early 2004.

This now concludes your random thought of the day!

Not quite! I would totally have a threesome with any two of the following three:


Also, according to this "news" report, Cruz apparently went on to make a movie called Sahara. Story developing...

Sexy Poets Quiz

Because who doesn't like sexy poetry? Certainly not you.

From the Best American Poetry blog:


Match the poet with the quote from his or her poem:

1. "I groped for him before I knew"

2. "you slip/ half-a-foot deep into someone you like"

3. "new memory like a seltzer in my crotch"

4. "he kissed her Anne Sexton/ and she returned the favor, caressing his Ted Berrigan"

5. "that slippery ingress ... its complicated fragrance"

6. "Gently, with my lips/ loosen the button./ Have them slip into my hands/ Like two freshly poured beer mugs"

7. "she wanted him hung up on her breasts, not on her feet"

8. "The clam shell opens./ The oyster is eaten."

9. "At each beat of his heart it threw/ An odd little nod my way. From the slot of the spout/ Extended a drop of transparent viscous goo"

10. "nude ghosts seeking each other out in the silence"


Charles Simic

Marge Piercy

Albert Goldbarth

Emily Dickinson

David Lehman

Allen Ginsberg

Elizabeth Alexander

Michael Ryan

Jim Cummins

W. H. Auden



...Um, is the first one Emily Dickinson? I clearly don't know anything about poetry. Philistine.
Also: "beer mugs," heh.