Showing posts with label Ben. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ben. Show all posts

Jul 17, 2010

Why would anyone want to dislike 'Inception'?

 (Stephen Vaughan/Warner Bros.)

Why do I do this to myself?  What is the point?  I've seen the sort of hate that spews onto the internet when a professional film critic like David Edelstein publishes a negative review of a movie everyone is dying to see.  People want him dead.  Or at least fired.  He is an "unprofessional" "retarded" "arrogant" "pretentious" "school yard bully," about as "useful as a poopy flavoured lollypop," and—even worse—he's "worse than Armond White."  His sin is simple: he disliked Inception, and was brazen enough to say that he was frustrated by the near-fanatical Hype surrounding what he believes to be a "clunky and confusing" movie.

Also, he disliked The Dark Knight, therefore he must be bad.

The thing is, I thought Edelstein's review in New York Magazine was well-reasoned, honest, and articulate.  His confusion and frustration is clear, and I think it's appropriate (if not downright necessary) to address the Hype head-on; to ignore it would have been to pretend he wasn't aware of what was going on around him; namely, that Inception was quickly becoming the most talked-about movie of the summer (of this new decade?), long before it ever reached theatres. 

Who among us hasn't been in this position before, utterly baffled by the near-unanimous response (positive or negative) to a popular movie, a response that we simply cannot agree with?

I have not seen Inception.  I can't speak to the details of Edelstein's opinion of the movie (though I can admire his prose; when he marvels that Marion Cotillard is "clock-stoppingly gorgeous," it seems both an efficiently handsome and subtly informative phrase).  But here's the thing: when I finally do see Inception, I want to dislike it.

...I think.

Maybe.

It's not that I like being contrarian (a label that has lately been tossed in the direction of both Edelstein and Toy Story 3-hater White as if it were the greatest indignity).  The more great movies that exist in this world, the better.  And the more people that see and like those great movies, well, that's pretty great, too.  So with this fresh, new, and (possibly) exhilarating and inventive movie on a silver platter in front of me, why would I want to send it back?  Am I just a mindless part of the new New Media cycle, fulfilling the prognostications of an impending and inevitable backlash?

In a word, yes.

I want to have an honest reaction to Inception.  If it's thrilling, I want to be thrilled.  If it's mysterious and confusing but ultimately thought-provoking, I want to be provoked.  I don't want my reception to be skewed by some external force, as part of a shifting movement toward Hype (as represented not just by applauding mainstream film critics [like Roger Ebert—always level-headed] but more so by the zealous fans who so fiercely and single-mindedly attacked David Edelstein).  I don't want to be in a position where I've either got to align myself with one camp or another; I don't want to camp at all.

But the volume of both sides (though especially the fervor of fanboys and fangirls) is obstructing my non-partisanship, and making it impossible to enter the movie theatre open-minded.  I am actually weary of Inception without having ever seen it.  This seems an especially relevant problem for a movie that, for all intents and purposes, should be unabashedly new and unfamiliar.

I do not blame this on the fans—die-hard or casual—of Inception.  Nor do I blame the media, at least not directly—Dennis Cozzalio at Sergio Leone and the Infield Fly Rule intelligently dissects the Los Angeles Times' Patrick Goldstein's response to the Edelstein brouhaha, whereas Jim Emerson, on his Scanners blog, laments the release of a movie's reviews before the release of the movie itself, and the trouble this causes.

The blame, I think, lies squarely on the cash culture of Hollywood, where exorbitant advertising budgets for studio tentpole releases (some estimates I've seen put Inception's advertising budget well above $150 million) and the need for a big return on opening weekend have created a culture based around the bandwagon.

I don't want to speculate how many millions of dollars Inception is making right this minute, but it's a lot.  Hollywood feeds (and feeds off of) a culture that creates outsiders out of people who miss this weekend's Next Big Thing; to be sufficiently in the loop, I've got to spend $10 and see Inception NOW (the laws of Facebook and the trends of Twitter nearly demand it).

Is it such a bad thing to recognize this manipulation and actively oppose it?  No.  But... Who pays the price if I do?  Me, or Inception?

For several reasons, Inception has connected with a huge audience, and did so well before this audience even had a chance to see the actual film.  The Hype is huge; it just goes to show that $150 million spent correctly will get people's attention.  But the immensely positive response also suggests that maybe Inception is just a really good movie that a lot of good people (and some bad ones) really, really like.  And there is nothing wrong with that.

In a fair-minded and slightly bemused piece from NPR, Linda Holmes wonders how we've come to a point where we demand unanimous assent from our film critics.  That seems wholly misguided, she argues, because while art may not be entirely objective, by it's very nature it should allow space for "individual sensibilities" and personal preference.  When we get stuck on aggregate scores from sites like Rotten Tomatoes, we lose an important piece of the discussion.  "There's no destination that criticism is trying to reach," she writes, "where if we all get smarter and fairer and we all 'get it' (oh, how desperately we need to rid ourselves of the language of 'getting it'), we'll wind up rating everything either 100% or 0%."

My conundrum: If I enjoy Inception, I'm just like everybody else.  Which I don't like.  But if I dislike Inception because of that, I'm just a reactionary, intent on being unlike everyone else—which is just a bandwagon of a different color.  But if I genuinely dislike Inception because I find it's not very good, well, like David Edelstein, I must be an "idiot."

I'm lost in my thoughts.  This is a head trip worthy of Christopher Nolan.

Apr 2, 2010

Remember when Tom Cruise & Penélope Cruz were a thing?


Oh yeah. That happened.

But just because it really happened doesn't mean it makes any logical sense. It's like thinking about the Holocaust--I mean, you know it happened (unless you're one of those Holocaust deniers, but I don't think you are), even though it's nearly impossible to rationally conceptualize. Did I just compare the pairing of Cruise/Cruz to the single most devastating event of the 20th Century? Yes.

I mean, why on earth would this honest-to-God Spanish goddess ("it's French for goddess") and future Oscar® winner canoodle with that Oprah®-freak-outter? Look at Oprah®’s face!


(A Google search for Tom Cruise+crazy yields 1.75 million results, while Oprah+crazy turns up over 3 million. It's all relative.)

The world sure was a different place back in 2000-early 2004.

This now concludes your random thought of the day!

Not quite! I would totally have a threesome with any two of the following three:


Also, according to this "news" report, Cruz apparently went on to make a movie called Sahara. Story developing...

Mar 27, 2010

The "Everyday" Quote of the Day - Now For Everyday Use!


"Poison!" (Repeat.)

For use in situations involving:
  • A chicken, hidden, unbeknownst to you, inside a bratty girl's pumpkin-headed warrior-friend, dangling from the fingertips of the vengeful Gnome King, over his literally cavernous throat, seconds from a gruesome and unhappy ending, surprising everyone (the chicken--herself--included) by laying a single, solitary, and unbelievably TOXIC egg in a moment of penultimate fear, which the Gnome King has no choice but to ingest, thereby ensuring his (and your) shocking and agonizing demise (see: the gnomes in Return to Oz)
  • The unintentional and/or unavoidable consumption of oft-maligned foodstuff (esp. vegetables) during an otherwise pleasant meal--like when you've been putting off eating the carrots on the edge of your plate in a half-ironic/half-genuine attempt to avoid consuming anything healthy, until you finally relent and therefore feel obligated to make a big show out of the act by exaggerating every "disgusting" bite
Press PLAY below for a lesson in the "everyday" application of this handy quote!

Tell me: How did you use the "Everyday" Quote of the Day today?

Mar 20, 2010

How quickly would you become a supervillain? NOW

If you had superpowers--you and only you--what would you do with them?  How soon after you were gifted the power of invisibility (or super strength; or flight; or mental telepathy; etc.) would you find yourself abusing the power you were given for selfish reasons?

This is not a rhetorical question.  The answer is "Almost immediately."  Don't even pretend you wouldn't sneak into an opposite sexed locker room, or surprise everyone and win an arm wrestling contest, or help your beloved football team end the waffling and answer the eternal question ("Are you coming back?!") by just reading Brett Favre's damn mind.

I was at dinner with Garrett and Claire, and this question of superpower use (and abuse) came up.  (FYI, Garrett is a total supervillain.)  It would be sooooo easy to take advantage of your new sitch (short for 'situation') without the possibility of any real consequence; you could do almost anything without repercussion.

But this brings up a plethora of follow-up questions:
  • Which celebrity would you most want to see naked?
  • How much money is too much money?
  • Can I trust Hung Truong enough to let him in on my secret? (No.)
  • What is the best way to wreak havoc on Bryan Costilla's miserable life? (that is a question we all must answer)
The most intriguing follow-up question, though, has got to be: What superpower would you want?

Good thing we've already got the answer!  According to a very scientific Facebook poll (brought to you by the movie Kick-Ass), a majority of you would choose "Time control."  Okay.  Duh.  But it is far from unanimous.  Facebook user Joseph SquadUp Johnson writes, "damm i put fly i wanna fly shit fuck time control i live life to the fullest anyway."  But it clearly is a difficult choice; Brandyn Grabowski comments, "i picked fly cuz thats just bad ass but then i thought about it. id pick time control cuz id go back and invent all those crazy things like shamwow! and snuggies. and snuggies for dogs lmao!. and microsoft. AND apple. and then once i got like a billion bucks id go further back and put it in a bank then come back to present day and be like a qudrillianare lmao."  Dilemma!  I think the existential quandary this elicits can be summed up by Fertile, Iowa's own Zach Hermanson, who says (quite poetically), "time control. so I can pause time go behind your back stab you with a pencil. walk back to my seat and then start time again. 'WHAT HAPPEND??!??!' zach hermanson."  Preach it, zach hermanson.

But really, this mostly just reminded me of an episode of This American Life, based around the idea of superpowers, which featured Mr. "and I'm a PC" himself, John Hodgman.  He wanted to know: Which is better: The power of flight or the power of invisibility?  Look at how curious he is!


The Hodg's respondents are a lot more interesting (Going-to-Paris Man!) than the Facebook dredge.  In the audio link below, "Act One: Invisible Man vs. Hawkman" starts about 6 minutes in, and lasts about 13 minutes.  But, seriously, you might want to just listen to the whole show.  What is the opposite of a waste of your time?  Whatever it is, this is it.

___________________________________________


___________________________________________


(Click anywhere above to listen--for free!--to the complete Superpowers show. Read the episode guide or listen to a 30 second promo here--all for free!  Donate $ to TAL here--not free!)


Answer any and all of the above questions in the COMMENTS below, as well as in the poll above.  If I could be invisible, I would most want to see Jonah Hill nekkid, obvs (short for 'obviously') ...NOT!

Are you a fearful, crouching masturbator like I am?  Also, re: "Act Two: Wonder Woman"--would you marry Zora?  I would.

Feb 5, 2010

"Japonese [sic] Amazing Show"

What is the best part of this YouTube discovery: the succinct written description* of the video ("it's amazing what this japanese does"), the clearly audible (and enthusiastic!) sounds of a man screaming as the performer accepts her medal(!), or the captivating trick itself?




WELL??  What is the best part?  Vote in the comments below.

Also, only 895 views!  I am soooo ahead of the viral curve, I feel like this is my discovery!  But it isn't.  It was Roger Ebert's.


*Succinct, but possibly inaccurate.  There is reason to believe she's Thai.

Jan 18, 2010

Walt "Backwards G"isney

Why is Disney all up in my face trying to make me be a better person?
I was going to write about Walt Disney Studio's collaboration with the Ad Council on a series of PSAs--Sleeping Beauty has teamed up with Smokey the Bear to prevent forest fires (logical!)! Fat bear Baloo is the poster child for healthy living (makes sense!)!--but when, long story short, during my research I ended up reading pages of "The Walt Disney Company's 2008 Corporate Responsibility Report," I kinda lost my mojo.  So instead I wanted to pose this thought:

As a child, whenever I saw the logo for Walt Disney Pictures, I never knew that it said Walt Disney.  Or, I guess I kinda did, on some intuitive level, because, you know, duh.  But as it's written in Walt's own handwriting, I never recognized the "D" in Disney for what it was.  It always looked like...I don't know, a backwards "G" or something.  (Hey, I didn't think about it that much.)  It was only years later that it hit me that it was, in fact, just a "D" with a little loop around the front.  Whoa.  Wacky Walt.



Even still, nowadays, I sometimes find my brain reverting back to my 7-year-old self and I just can't see the "Disney" in "Disney."  It's that damn D!  It has far too much going on around the straight line/the left side; it seems so...off balance.

I know I'm not alone on this.  Someone who shall remain anonymous* said she had a similar problem with, you know, reading the D in Disney.  I wonder: did anyone else ever misread or simply fail to recognize a popular phrase or logo because of the typeface?

This post is best read with musical accompaniment: SpinitLet'sbeginitBear'n'grinitWhenyou'reinitYoucanwinitInaminuteWhenyouspinitspinitspinit!



*It was Claire.

Sep 7, 2009

'Lemony Snicket' End Credits in HD - Happy Labor Day!

I don't know what Labor Day has to do with the delicious end credits of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. These events are--unfortunately--unrelated. But let us not linger on that fact. Likewise, let us move past the real unfortunate use of puns, on this eventful day. Click on the image below, and enjoy some of the best-designed end titles ever!



Fun Fact: Title designer/animator/artist Jamie Caliri and his associates aren't even credited by name in their own credits.

Click on the image above--or right here!--to view the end credits in HD.
Click here to view the end credits in SD.
(Bless you, The Art of the Title Sequence!)

Sep 6, 2009

If you are not excited about the start of Season 6 of 'So You Think You Can Dance,' why are you so stupid?

Rhetorical question. Duh. Everyone is excited about Season 6 of So You Think You Can Dance. Fox made sure of that, by airing the super-special special "The 15 Best Routines Ever" last week, as a warm-up to this Wednesday's season premier.

And unless you are in league with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and therefore hate all good things (and me)--dude, the rhythm is gonna get you. I dare you to resist. Actually, I dare you not to resist.

If you don't think you could ever get into "dance" or "reality TV" or--God forbid--"a reality dance competition," then you are wrong. Do not confuse So You Think You Can Dance with all that other schlock out there; SYTYCD has spent five years elevating itself above all other "related" programming by repeatedly offering beautiful and genuine artistry during it's killer dance routines. Do not let the live studio audience/screaming automatons deter you.

Watch, oh God yes, please watch. Give it a chance. Click play below. Find one of SYTYCD's most famous routines--"The Hummingbird and The Flower"--at the 1:25 mark. Watch it. Then, click around the timeline and find another totally different but still totally ah-may-za-zing routine (this bit is from Season 3), including a boardroom-inspired jazz, a sexxxy samba, and a transformative hip hop. Or, better yet, click here to watch the whole Top 15 special. Yes, do that. If you are not inspired to feel, or simply to get up and move, in mock, amateurish imitation, then you cannot be helped.



Oh my goodneeeess. It's so good. C'est si bon, indeed.

(Bonus Mark!)

Aug 2, 2009

Wes Anderson is taking over the world, one corduroy suit at a time

Did anyone else watch the new trailer for Fantastic Mr. Fox and wonder why Wes Anderson has outfitted Mr. Fox exactly like himself?


plus


morphs into


Wes Anderson's latest subtle attempt to take over the world. Or at least homogenize it to his tastes, to a catchy tune.

Music 101: Bobby McFerrin at the World Science Festival 2009

'(500) Days of Summer' - Review

Like numbers, director Marc Webb? Here’s some simple arithmetic for you:


+
IKEA®
-
Headbands
=
(500) Days of Summer


Watch the trailer here.

Jul 23, 2009

Descanse en Paz, Taco Bell Chihuahua

People.com is reporting (exclusively!) that Gidget--the chihuahua that "charmed millions" in a series of Taco Bell ads in the late 1990's--passed away Tuesday night. She was 15.

According to the release, Gidget was "a consummate pro" who "delighted the crew with her playful nature."

She is survived by her trainer, Sue, as well as two gorditas and an Enchirito® value meal. A fund has been set up in her name, in my wallet. Donations are welcome.

Jun 19, 2009

'Transformers' star Shia LeBeouf sings 'The Touch'

Haha. I LOVE that Garrett will HATE this. I am so cruel!

Look at Shia's stupid face! It rules!




Also, I never saw the first Transformers movie (and by "first Transformers movie," I clearly mean the Michael Bay-directed, Megan Fox-sexified Transformers, i.e., the only one ANYONE CARES ABOUT) (I'm not even going to link to the totally-forgotten animated movie's IMDb page--suck on that, Garrett!). So, if you could, maybe let me know what happens in that atrocity fun movie. In, like, 8 words.

NEWS!

(Cardboard) Black bear visits Cleveland. "This is what the bear probably looked like..."



"Except real."


Thanks to Attack of the Show. Best News Ever!

May 25, 2009

Ditto

Does it make me a bad person when Patrick Swayze's dire health condition--so dire, in fact, that his publicist has to publicly deny rumors that he is already dead--makes me want to watch Ghost? Yes.

May 4, 2009

Want.

I don't know if you are like me (you are probably not like me), but if you are--in the sense that the school year is almost over and you are knee-deep in shit FINAL EXAMS--I'm hoping this will cheer you up.

Even if your depression is not Finals related...well, GET OVER IT anyways. Why? Because of this:




Also, I realize I have filed this post under "Puppies and Kitties," and a slow loris is neither a puppy nor a kitty, so I offer this bonus:

From The Daily Puppy:

"This little duchess is a six-week-old Samoyed. Her name is Luna and she is a furry and cute little puppy who likes to chew on everything. She loves living with us and we love living with her. She has brought unbelievable happiness and joy to our lives."

Luna 2

Luna 1

Luna 3

You are welcome.

Apr 30, 2009

The "Everyday" Quote of the Day - Now For Everyday Use!

"Stay focused. Find a pen."

For use in situations involving:
  • Manipulative bitches feeding you false information, DELIBERATELY TAKING ADVANTAGE of your unique memory ailment that inconveniently (or, for the sake of the plot, conveniently) forces a periodic re-boot of your brain (see: Memento)
  • The existential malaise that comes from a constant awareness that everyday details--the small things that only grab your attention for an instant, then are gone--will be forgotten and lost from your memory FOREVER if you don't write them down or make a significant effort to please please please remember them (see: titles of rarely-heard songs, or wonderful, beautiful, not-often-used words that really ought to be used more, or fleeting images or anecdotes that would be perfect to share with an absent friend, etc. etc.)


Go to the 8:05 mark for a lesson in the "everyday" application of this handy quote!

Apr 16, 2009

Sexy Poets Quiz

Because who doesn't like sexy poetry? Certainly not you.

From the Best American Poetry blog:


Match the poet with the quote from his or her poem:

1. "I groped for him before I knew"

2. "you slip/ half-a-foot deep into someone you like"

3. "new memory like a seltzer in my crotch"

4. "he kissed her Anne Sexton/ and she returned the favor, caressing his Ted Berrigan"

5. "that slippery ingress ... its complicated fragrance"

6. "Gently, with my lips/ loosen the button./ Have them slip into my hands/ Like two freshly poured beer mugs"

7. "she wanted him hung up on her breasts, not on her feet"

8. "The clam shell opens./ The oyster is eaten."

9. "At each beat of his heart it threw/ An odd little nod my way. From the slot of the spout/ Extended a drop of transparent viscous goo"

10. "nude ghosts seeking each other out in the silence"


Charles Simic

Marge Piercy

Albert Goldbarth

Emily Dickinson

David Lehman

Allen Ginsberg

Elizabeth Alexander

Michael Ryan

Jim Cummins

W. H. Auden



...Um, is the first one Emily Dickinson? I clearly don't know anything about poetry. Philistine.
Also: "beer mugs," heh.

Apr 14, 2009

200 million failures members

I know you know that Facebook just crossed the milestone of 200 million "active" members. And, as they instructionally (gloating-ly?) convey in their press release-type video, we could all use a little perspective on that number. For example, Facebook says that "It took 20,000 years for the world population to get to 200 million" and that "It would take 46.5 years for 200 million babies to be born in the U.S." Also, they tell me that if Facebook were a country, a population of 200 million would make it the 5th largest, "bigger than Brazil, Japan, and Russia."

And according to EW's PopWatch, "If Facebook users created a Facebook language, it would be roughly the sixth most-spoken language on Earth. If Facebook were a religion, it would be one of the 10 most-widely practiced." As an "active" Facebook member myself, I say, Welcome to Facebooktonia. Sprechen Sie news feed? Amen!

These are intriguing figures, natch. But then this report came out today, from (The) Ohio State University, saying that college students who are also Facebook members "spend less time studying and have lower grade point averages" than those students who are not members. (Probably because they spend more time using Virtual Bookshelves than...real ones. Or whatever. Haha. I'm funny.) Also, the study claims that most Facebook users don't think it hinders their study time, even when the information suggests otherwise.

Speaking as someone who is not studying (but should be) and is currently--right now!--logged on to Facebook (but shouldn't be?), I say...well DUH, Facebook interferes with studying. Facebook is better than studying. Who would rather be reading a textbook about Statistics (or whatever "college" makes you do nowadays) than adding virtual flair to their virtual flair collection or coming up with (cute) ironies and/or witticisms to scribble down irreverently below someone else's self-consciously ironic/witty photos? No one, that's who.

Now resume taking that Facebook quiz which tells you which tortilla you are, flour or corn. I'm flour.


...
(If you're anything like Dask and I, or even Dask's girlfriend, you might be wondering what the four countries are that have a population greater than 200 million. You should know them, but I'll tell you anyway. Currently: 1) China, 2) India, 3) United States (bronze!), and, the one that stumped us... 4) Indonesia.)