Oct 10, 2009

Oh My Tauntaun!

It started out as the best April Fool's joke this side of Hoth, but now it's a beautiful reality. Ladies and Gentlemen...Wookies & Mynocks...

The Tauntaun Sleeping Bag!


Click the world's cutest rebel to read more.


This prototype was made as a gag, and as you know, you can't go around selling merchandise based on properties you don't own. Certainly not Star Wars. (My homemade Alf memorabilia is all over eBay). But what truly amazes me is that Lucas actually approved this. That's the only good that has come from him since The Empire Strikes Back (how fitting).


And feel free to pre-order me two or three of these.

I'm serious. I would sleep in it every night.

Oct 8, 2009

Japanese Read Comics Backwards

Kodansha, Japan's largest publisher, has set up shop stateside leaving tens upon dozens of manga kids in shambles. Basically what this means is anyone publishing titles owned by Kodansha, no longer holds licence to those properties. Dark Horse lost Akira and Ghost In The Shell, which isn't much of a blow considering numerous volumes have been out-of-print for some time now. But for the manga-only Tokyopop, they lost everything Kodansha. So it may be awhile for the legions of pimply, sexually confused tweens to see anymore volumes of such masterworks as Chobits, Love Hina, and Samurai Deeper Kyo. Anyway, none of this is really important...

...what is important is the status of a property Kodansha owns that ins't available in the states, nor has been for almost a decade. One that they haven't even announced plans to re-print, but I can't for the life of me figure out why it wouldn't be the first thing they'd release. When you think of manga/anime, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Osamu Tezuka? Well, only if you're awesome. I'm of course referring to Sailor effing Moon! I have no shame in the following three words: I want now.

But even more important than a possible re-print of the entire manga series (which I'd hypocritacally buy even though I hate 99% of manga and it's readers) is a little poll Funimation had on their site this summer asking: "Would you watch a re-dub of the entire uncut Sailor Moon series?" Unfortunately, there was not a tab I could click to offer them my soul if they were able to obtain the rights to re-dub an uncut Sailor Moon (the rights are locked up tighter than a dirty metaphor involving school girl uniforms).

So, to make a long story just a little longer; I love Sailor Moon...and I wanted the world to know. But now that I have that out in the open...who's with me?

Oct 5, 2009

Happy 40th, Monty Python!


October 5, 1969: six young lads change the face of television forever.
October 5, 1989 (probably): Toddler Garrett watches Holy Grail for the first time.
October 5, 2009: The Pythons are all old farts (or Graham would be) yet their fanbase is ever growing. And I'm still laughing.

In celebration of 40 glorious years of Monty Python, here are two of my favorite Flying Circus sketches.






What are your favorites?

Sep 13, 2009

Back To Pepperland?


High on the resurgence of Beatlemania, Disney snagged the rights for the 1968 classic this past week with Robert Zemeckis at the helm. Sigh. And since people are stupid, Yeller Sub (as I imagine the exec's refer to it) will be filmed in 3D (of course) using the same motion capture technology used in Zemeckis' previous films: Beowulf and The Polar Express. Now, I didn't see Beowulf or The Polar Express...because there was no reason to see Beowulf or The Polar Express, for I am neither 8, nor mentally challenged (the latter is arguable). Maybe that statement is unfair...but I'm not too worried about it. Here are some things to consider in formulating your opinion on the subject:

Pros:
All 16 original songs will remain in the film.

Cons:
3D
Motion Captured CGI
Zac Efron will likely be John Lennon (total speculation)
The film being made in the first place.

As Paul would say, "Let It Be." Well, maybe not 2009 Paul since he's obviously okay with this project. Someone should give him this letter I wrote.

Dear Mr. McCartney,
There are good sell-outs and bad sell-outs. Bad=Yellow Submarine remake. Good=Beatles Rock Band!
Yours Truly,
Garrett

P.S. Please forward this to Ringo.

I leave you with my favorite scene of the movie.

Sep 7, 2009

'Lemony Snicket' End Credits in HD - Happy Labor Day!

I don't know what Labor Day has to do with the delicious end credits of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. These events are--unfortunately--unrelated. But let us not linger on that fact. Likewise, let us move past the real unfortunate use of puns, on this eventful day. Click on the image below, and enjoy some of the best-designed end titles ever!



Fun Fact: Title designer/animator/artist Jamie Caliri and his associates aren't even credited by name in their own credits.

Click on the image above--or right here!--to view the end credits in HD.
Click here to view the end credits in SD.
(Bless you, The Art of the Title Sequence!)

Sep 6, 2009

If you are not excited about the start of Season 6 of 'So You Think You Can Dance,' why are you so stupid?

Rhetorical question. Duh. Everyone is excited about Season 6 of So You Think You Can Dance. Fox made sure of that, by airing the super-special special "The 15 Best Routines Ever" last week, as a warm-up to this Wednesday's season premier.

And unless you are in league with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and therefore hate all good things (and me)--dude, the rhythm is gonna get you. I dare you to resist. Actually, I dare you not to resist.

If you don't think you could ever get into "dance" or "reality TV" or--God forbid--"a reality dance competition," then you are wrong. Do not confuse So You Think You Can Dance with all that other schlock out there; SYTYCD has spent five years elevating itself above all other "related" programming by repeatedly offering beautiful and genuine artistry during it's killer dance routines. Do not let the live studio audience/screaming automatons deter you.

Watch, oh God yes, please watch. Give it a chance. Click play below. Find one of SYTYCD's most famous routines--"The Hummingbird and The Flower"--at the 1:25 mark. Watch it. Then, click around the timeline and find another totally different but still totally ah-may-za-zing routine (this bit is from Season 3), including a boardroom-inspired jazz, a sexxxy samba, and a transformative hip hop. Or, better yet, click here to watch the whole Top 15 special. Yes, do that. If you are not inspired to feel, or simply to get up and move, in mock, amateurish imitation, then you cannot be helped.



Oh my goodneeeess. It's so good. C'est si bon, indeed.

(Bonus Mark!)

Aug 25, 2009

Shaft? Dolemite? F@*# No!

What may be this century's only Blaxploitation film (unless you count my film, Sweet Sweetback's Even Mo' Badasssss Song, that I just made up) the Sundance hit Black Dynamite will be ass whuppin' it's way into theaters on October 16. How it managed to make it this far without becoming "Quentin Tarantino Presents" is astonishing to me. My favorite bit is at the end: "Hush up, little girls..."


You may recognize the lead, Michael Jai White, from Spawn (ha ha) or the deleted scene from Kill Bill Vol. I.

Aug 24, 2009

Those Glourious Basterds!

Quentin Tarantino has been talking about Inglourious Basterds for, well, forever. That's what he does, he talks. But I find, more often than naught, the man can put the money where his mouth is. I've adored every one of his films, but for some reason couldn't get behind Inglourious Basterds. I wasn't won over by the trailer and the mixed reactions from Cannes didn't help sway me. It wasn't until Wednesday, August 19 at approximately 2:14 pm that it hit me...a new film by Quentin Tarantino comes out this week! What am I so worried about?

All uncertainty was immediately quelled with the opening scene on Mr. LaPadite's dairy farm. This scene alone is worth your $10 admission. I will say nothing about it.

I'm actually not going to say much about this movie. Most of you have already seen it. The rest of you need to go see it. Then we can all have a nice chat. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll eat nachos, and you may kill a few Nat-zees on the way.


What I will say before leaving you:
This is by far Tarantino's prettiest film. There are shots in there that should be taught in film schools. The dialogue is as good as it has ever been. He wrote the farm scene back in 1998 and has never let go of it. Thank God! And Christoph Waltz? Oscar nomination. Col. Hans Landa may be one of the best villains in a movie ever. And Brad Pitt's Lt. Aldo Raine is so fun to watch I want a spin-off movie! Hell, throw in a spin-off for Landa and Hugo Stiglitz too!

Although it is 153 minutes long, the movie feels short. I need to see it again. Then maybe once more after that.

Aug 18, 2009

Ponyo!

Hayao Miyazaki. The name alone puts a smile on my face. Through all of my cinematic exploits, there have been very few things that bring me as much joy as visiting a world created by Hayao Miyazaki. Ponyo is no exception. I already had a bias toward Miyazaki and the films of Studio Ghibli (four of which are among my favorite films ever made), so I expected to like Ponyo. I never would have guessed I'd walk out of the theater having seen a movie I would call perfect.


Studio Ghibli and Pixar are often viewed as equals when comparing both their body of work and their inner workings as a company. Both are overflowing with imagination, integrity, and a deep-rooted love for the medium. Both produce films that are lightyears ahead of the other animation studios, both visually and with masterful storytelling. The attention to detail and vast effort put into their films result a higher caliber of filmmaking. They don't make "kid's movies," they make movies that are marketed to children, because animation equals kids. But what sets Ghibli apart, and puts them closer to my heart, is their love for hand drawn animation. As much as I love Pixar and their films...I will never love computer animation. The layers of hand-painted cells, each one every bit as important as the last, all starting out as a single line from a pencil. I feel more connected to and have more respect for hand drawn art than I do something run through a computer, made up of microscopic bits of data; rendered and perfect. I want to see flaws and imperfections. Because through imperfection I see perfection. I see beauty! And Ponyo is beautiful. You'll notice I haven't really said anything about the movie itself. I don't intend to. The story is simple and it's themes are universal. It doesn't tread any uncharted waters. But the magic of it, for me, is unreal. I don't mean the magic of the world in the story, I mean the hold the film had on me. Jaw wide, head tilted, eyes absorbing eveything they see. Feeling like child again, but not at all. That's what makes Miyazaki a master at his craft. No matter your age, child and adult are synonymous when watching his films. A G rating doesn't have to denote "kid's movie." This is a film for anyone who dreams, loves, hopes, laughs, cries, feels. I'm sure Ponyo isn't going to make a profound impact on your life, or make you stand in the street shouting praise to the heavens, but I hope it will touch you in some way.

I dare you to watch it and not smile uncontrollably.

Aug 16, 2009

Can't We All Just Get Along?

District 9. It is a...movie...that I watched. It's also a movie I'm having trouble writing about. I've been staring at the monitor for well over 40 minutes now with nothing but the words District 9 on the screen, so bear with me.


District 9 leaves me very much on the fence. This sentiment will eventually change (and I feel the pull toward the positive side), but my problem lays in how...alien it all was. It's a familiar film, yet entirely new. The mockumentary style feels like it's been done to death, but it works really well here. However, it still feels like this style of film hasn't been perfected. It's still very much experimental, therefore, doesn't feel like a finished product. But at the same time, I can't quite put my finger on how to resolve it. The same problems arise in a biopic that is dramatized yet heavily references stock footage. The stock footage (the real footage) tends to take you out of the reality of the film. At some point, District 9 needed to stop being documented. And to some extent it did, but it didn't feel confident about this decision.

With District 9, some things worked and others didn't. It feels like a Catch-22. The mockumentary aspect worked...except when it didn't. The action (namely in the third act) went on too long and was your average popcorn fare, yet the movie needed more action. It's like a recipe that you followed to the letter but the meal still doesn't come out right. What variable is missing?

I loved the shifting sympathies in the film. You start out really liking Wikus van der Merwe and detest the disgusting, bottom-feeding prawn. Wikus and his armed goons are sent to District 9, the camps outside of Johannesburg where the aliens live, to serve them all eviction notices. The aliens are to be relocated some 20 miles outside of the city. So they go around confiscating weapons and evicting alien residents, fining them on unfair grounds, shoving rifles into their faces. Yet the prawn never once raise arms at the humans. The only thing they use these weapons for (weapons humans can't operate) is as tender; they trade Nigerian gangsters the guns for food. They don't seem very dangerous. And they love cat food! How menacing! You spend a good while remaining neutral until introduced to the alien named, presumable by humans, Christopher Johnson and his son. You instantly cling on to them. You also come to realize that they are the most human element in the film. Their desire to get home, to be free, takes precedence over anything else in the film. Although you follow Wikus, he never quite recaptures your sympathy until the very end. Since he is your main protagonist, I think this also means you never really care about the human race throughout the course of the film. While Wikus' motives are self serving, Christopher's are for the benifit of his entire race. The aliens, the prawn, are never fighting amongst themselves. Bickering sometimes, but they never harm or kill one of their own. They never even harm or kill humans unless provoked past the point of their own safety. They are not invaders. They are a lost people. And they can't go home because they are prisoners living in internment camps and the human government wont allow them to. This isn't too unfamiliar considering we're talking about South Africa under apartheid. Why is it I sympathize with these conditions more when it's an alien race this is happening to? Because I can say "It's only a movie?"

I'm put in a love/hate relationship with District 9 because of the disdain I feel for the human race. The cliché is aliens come to wage war and humanity can unite against a common foe. That isn't present here, of which I'm very grateful, of course! But humans are so stupid and don't learn from their mistakes. There's still war. There's still money in war. A peaceful alien race gets lost, we capture them, enslave them, and exploit them to the fullest. It leaves you wanting those clichés. Send the howling beam from the belly of your mothership and wash away this big blue blemish called Earth. We deserve it.