Ornery Ewoks!

Ewoks are known for ruining a scene. In this case, they made it watchable. Be patient for the first minute or so, it gets hilarious toward the end.

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Barbie Ladies of the 80's!

Many years ago I stumbled upon a Poison Ivy Barbie at Wal-Mart. I of course bought her immediately. The cashier, possibly feeling uncomfortable that a grown man was purchasing nothing but a lone Barbie doll at 3am, commented on how that was going to make a great gift for my daughter. I decided against telling her, "Oh, I don't have a daughter. This is for me!"

I wish I could say my Barbie collecting could be labeled as an isolated incident, but Poison Ivy was the catalyst to a very expensive (and emasculating) hobby. So with every shred of manliness gone, I have no shame in admitting squealing like a schoolgirl at the announcement of Barbie's next Pink Label Series (Holiday 2009). It has officially rocked my socks...and soon, will rock my pocketbook.

Ladies of the 80's!

Debbie Harry, Joan Jett, and Cyndi Lauper!

I love the selection! I'm glad they didn't just settle for the likes of Madonna and Pat Benatar.

Note: I hope they make Madonna and Pat Benatar.

Oh My Tauntaun!

It started out as the best April Fool's joke this side of Hoth, but now it's a beautiful reality. Ladies and Gentlemen...Wookies & Mynocks...

The Tauntaun Sleeping Bag!

Click the world's cutest rebel to read more.

This prototype was made as a gag, and as you know, you can't go around selling merchandise based on properties you don't own. Certainly not Star Wars. (My homemade Alf memorabilia is all over eBay). But what truly amazes me is that Lucas actually approved this. That's the only good that has come from him since The Empire Strikes Back (how fitting).


And feel free to pre-order me two or three of these.

I'm serious. I would sleep in it every night.

Japanese Read Comics Backwards

Kodansha, Japan's largest publisher, has set up shop stateside leaving tens upon dozens of manga kids in shambles. Basically what this means is anyone publishing titles owned by Kodansha, no longer holds licence to those properties. Dark Horse lost Akira and Ghost In The Shell, which isn't much of a blow considering numerous volumes have been out-of-print for some time now. But for the manga-only Tokyopop, they lost everything Kodansha. So it may be awhile for the legions of pimply, sexually confused tweens to see anymore volumes of such masterworks as Chobits, Love Hina, and Samurai Deeper Kyo. Anyway, none of this is really important...

...what is important is the status of a property Kodansha owns that ins't available in the states, nor has been for almost a decade. One that they haven't even announced plans to re-print, but I can't for the life of me figure out why it wouldn't be the first thing they'd release. When you think of manga/anime, what's the first thing that comes to mind? Osamu Tezuka? Well, only if you're awesome. I'm of course referring to Sailor effing Moon! I have no shame in the following three words: I want now.

But even more important than a possible re-print of the entire manga series (which I'd hypocritacally buy even though I hate 99% of manga and it's readers) is a little poll Funimation had on their site this summer asking: "Would you watch a re-dub of the entire uncut Sailor Moon series?" Unfortunately, there was not a tab I could click to offer them my soul if they were able to obtain the rights to re-dub an uncut Sailor Moon (the rights are locked up tighter than a dirty metaphor involving school girl uniforms).

So, to make a long story just a little longer; I love Sailor Moon...and I wanted the world to know. But now that I have that out in the open...who's with me?

Happy 40th, Monty Python!

October 5, 1969: six young lads change the face of television forever.
October 5, 1989 (probably): Toddler Garrett watches Holy Grail for the first time.
October 5, 2009: The Pythons are all old farts (or Graham would be) yet their fanbase is ever growing. And I'm still laughing.

In celebration of 40 glorious years of Monty Python, here are two of my favorite Flying Circus sketches.






What are your favorites?

Back To Pepperland?

High on the resurgence of Beatlemania, Disney snagged the rights for the 1968 classic this past week with Robert Zemeckis at the helm. Sigh. And since people are stupid, Yeller Sub (as I imagine the exec's refer to it) will be filmed in 3D (of course) using the same motion capture technology used in Zemeckis' previous films: Beowulf and The Polar Express. Now, I didn't see Beowulf or The Polar Express...because there was no reason to see Beowulf or The Polar Express, for I am neither 8, nor mentally challenged (the latter is arguable). Maybe that statement is unfair...but I'm not too worried about it. Here are some things to consider in formulating your opinion on the subject:

Pros:
All 16 original songs will remain in the film.

Cons:
3D
Motion Captured CGI
Zac Efron will likely be John Lennon (total speculation)
The film being made in the first place.

As Paul would say, "Let It Be." Well, maybe not 2009 Paul since he's obviously okay with this project. Someone should give him this letter I wrote.

Dear Mr. McCartney,
There are good sell-outs and bad sell-outs. Bad=Yellow Submarine remake. Good=Beatles Rock Band!
Yours Truly,
Garrett

P.S. Please forward this to Ringo.

I leave you with my favorite scene of the movie.

'Lemony Snicket' End Credits in HD - Happy Labor Day!

I don't know what Labor Day has to do with the delicious end credits of Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. These events are--unfortunately--unrelated. But let us not linger on that fact. Likewise, let us move past the real unfortunate use of puns, on this eventful day. Click on the image below, and enjoy some of the best-designed end titles ever!



Fun Fact: Title designer/animator/artist Jamie Caliri and his associates aren't even credited by name in their own credits.

Click on the image above--or right here!--to view the end credits in HD.
Click here to view the end credits in SD.
(Bless you, The Art of the Title Sequence!)

If you are not excited about the start of Season 6 of 'So You Think You Can Dance,' why are you so stupid?

Rhetorical question. Duh. Everyone is excited about Season 6 of So You Think You Can Dance. Fox made sure of that, by airing the super-special special "The 15 Best Routines Ever" last week, as a warm-up to this Wednesday's season premier.

And unless you are in league with He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and therefore hate all good things (and me)--dude, the rhythm is gonna get you. I dare you to resist. Actually, I dare you not to resist.

If you don't think you could ever get into "dance" or "reality TV" or--God forbid--"a reality dance competition," then you are wrong. Do not confuse So You Think You Can Dance with all that other schlock out there; SYTYCD has spent five years elevating itself above all other "related" programming by repeatedly offering beautiful and genuine artistry during it's killer dance routines. Do not let the live studio audience/screaming automatons deter you.

Watch, oh God yes, please watch. Give it a chance. Click play below. Find one of SYTYCD's most famous routines--"The Hummingbird and The Flower"--at the 1:25 mark. Watch it. Then, click around the timeline and find another totally different but still totally ah-may-za-zing routine (this bit is from Season 3), including a boardroom-inspired jazz, a sexxxy samba, and a transformative hip hop. Or, better yet, click here to watch the whole Top 15 special. Yes, do that. If you are not inspired to feel, or simply to get up and move, in mock, amateurish imitation, then you cannot be helped.



Oh my goodneeeess. It's so good. C'est si bon, indeed.

(Bonus Mark!)

Shaft? Dolemite? F@*# No!

What may be this century's only Blaxploitation film (unless you count my film, Sweet Sweetback's Even Mo' Badasssss Song, that I just made up) the Sundance hit Black Dynamite will be ass whuppin' it's way into theaters on October 16. How it managed to make it this far without becoming "Quentin Tarantino Presents" is astonishing to me. My favorite bit is at the end: "Hush up, little girls..."


You may recognize the lead, Michael Jai White, from Spawn (ha ha) or the deleted scene from Kill Bill Vol. I.

Those Glourious Basterds!

Quentin Tarantino has been talking about Inglourious Basterds for, well, forever. That's what he does, he talks. But I find, more often than naught, the man can put the money where his mouth is. I've adored every one of his films, but for some reason couldn't get behind Inglourious Basterds. I wasn't won over by the trailer and the mixed reactions from Cannes didn't help sway me. It wasn't until Wednesday, August 19 at approximately 2:14 pm that it hit me...a new film by Quentin Tarantino comes out this week! What am I so worried about?

All uncertainty was immediately quelled with the opening scene on Mr. LaPadite's dairy farm. This scene alone is worth your $10 admission. I will say nothing about it.

I'm actually not going to say much about this movie. Most of you have already seen it. The rest of you need to go see it. Then we can all have a nice chat. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll eat nachos, and you may kill a few Nat-zees on the way.


What I will say before leaving you:
This is by far Tarantino's prettiest film. There are shots in there that should be taught in film schools. The dialogue is as good as it has ever been. He wrote the farm scene back in 1998 and has never let go of it. Thank God! And Christoph Waltz? Oscar nomination. Col. Hans Landa may be one of the best villains in a movie ever. And Brad Pitt's Lt. Aldo Raine is so fun to watch I want a spin-off movie! Hell, throw in a spin-off for Landa and Hugo Stiglitz too!

Although it is 153 minutes long, the movie feels short. I need to see it again. Then maybe once more after that.